The Concierge Ladies' Guide to Hiring Male Companions
Some fantastic, practical advice for ladies who are new to companionship. This is the work of the wonderful Concierge Companion Forum, and all credit goes to them. x
Adapted from Big Doggie's Client and Escort Guides.
First, you cannot "expect" anything more than to pay the companion for his time with you, either at a place mutually agreeable ("outcall") or at his place ("incall"). Anything else and you may be participating in an illegal activity. The exchange of sex for money is prostitution, and is illegal in most of the US (exceptions are the brothels in Nevada and currently the state of Rhode Island), and certain aspects of it are illegal in many other countries. Please know the law where you live and act accordingly.
The following two points are important to understand:
- Money exchanged in legal adult personal services is only for time and discreet companionship. It may also be in exchange for certain services such as exotic private dance, modeling, role-playing or sensual massage.
- But, of course, the fantasy goes beyond merely meeting with him for an hour. If this does happen (and there is no guarantee that it will happen given the above parameters), then whatever happens is a purely a matter of personal choice and personal preference between two or more consenting adults of a legal age and is not contracted for nor is it requested to be contracted for or compensated for in any manner.
What to expect:
DO EXPECT him to check your i.d. carefully. He does not want to get busted.
DO EXPECT him to turn and leave if you use any specific words that can lead to his arrest. Any sexual innuendo or actual words will make most companions leave quickly, both because those words may describe an illegal act and because you'd be proving you're clueless. You can NOT use any such words... at least not until you both have decided you aren't with a mal-intended member of moralistic society who is interested in using the law to enforce social control of adults behind closed doors.
DO EXPECT that he may, especially if he's from an agency, phone in to let them know he's there and that things are going well. Also DO EXPECT that he will call after the meeting is finished to let them know he is OK and leaving for the next session or whatever. This may not be the case with independent companions.
DO EXPECT to pay him for his time upfront, of course. He won't take your personal check. If he's wise, he also won't take your plastic (that can lead to a bust because it crosses interstate lines). Some will advise you to leave the money lying on the dresser, working on the premise that is less illegal than actually giving it to him. I'm not sure I perceive the distinction, but what the hell. Best course of action is to just place the money on a bedside table or hand directly to him without saying anything. Repeat: don't say anything.
DO EXPECT to treat him like a human being, not an object. Offer him a drink. See what he wants. Be nice. In every walk of life and in every profession people who treat others with kindness, compassion and caring generally get better service.
DO EXPECT him to treat you professionally. He sees you as a client, not his girlfriend. If you want moon/june romance, stick with a boyfriend (or someone who appears to offer a romantic service- this is where endorsements come in very handy).
DO EXPECT to let him know you appreciated the session, verbally and perhaps financially, if you feel so inclined. A tip, though not always expected is ALWAYS appreciated! Doesn't have to be a huge tip.
1. Make your first contact memorable. Be concise, honest, friendly and open. If you just want info (shopping?) be honest. If you want to schedule an appointment, suggest best time for you (don't say "How about some time next week?") Mention fee if you don't already know, but don't ask specific questions about it. Don't be graphic or specific-EVER.
2. Tell him a little bit about yourself. Tell him where you heard about him. Don't waste his time--he gets plenty of inquiries, make yours stand out. Talking on the phone or via e-mail gives you a great idea of what he's going to be like in person. If he's friendly and nice, he will be in person. It's also your chance to start building his perception of you. Be respectful. These guys are PEOPLE. Treat them like you would a boyfriend or lover and they will respond positively. It sounds simple, but people can be pushy and rude.
3. Now that you've made a good first impression, carry it through to the appointment. Show up! Be on time! Be freshly showered and presentable. Not too much "cheap" perfume, please. Be careful of doing anything that would scare him or cause him to be suspicious. Make a great in-person first impression!
4. Be confident and relaxed. Act like you've done this before. Greet him cordially. Give him a handshake (or, even better, a short non-sexual hug!) and smile and look him in the eye. Be nice--it costs no more and it will pay off in better dividends when it counts.
5. Place the agreed upon fee on a dresser or nightstand. Pre-counted and in a plain white envelope is always a nice touch. Don't seal the envelope. You may even hand it directly to him if it feels comfortable or if he extends his hand--but DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. Nothing. Just hand it over in payment for his time. Don't argue, ask for explanations, try to bargain, or otherwise ruin the mood at this point. Have a little trust and faith, you will be rewarded!
6. Talk to him--simple but very, very effective. Talk about him--compliment his attire, his hairstyle, his scent. Whatever, but be honest--phoniness shows up quickly. If he asks about you be open and honest--it shows. Men like to relax and have a good time, just like you. Talking during the engagement relaxes everyone and makes it more enjoyable for all. Don't be pushy or grabby.
7. If the engagement was excellent and the company was superb, think about leaving a small tip to express your gratitude. Especially, if you are thinking of seeing him again. Depending on the length of the visit, a token tip of anywhere from $20 to $100 would surely be appreciated--figure this into your budget for the evening.
8. You may consider bringing the gent a gift for your next meeting. This will win you brownie points! Listen to what his likes and dislikes are, his musical tastes, his wine preferences, etc. Reading his blog or forum posts and paying attention to what he says will give you insight into what an appropriate gift may be.
9. Bonus Tip. The final thought here is to use common sense and civility at all times. The above points are mostly just that. Treat the gentleman as you would like to be treated--with respect, kindness, caring, and genuine sensitive feelings.
1. If you are browsing an online message board to find someone compatible, say what area of the country you are looking in. Ask for recommendations in that geographical area.
2. Read the message or review board for a while just to get the flow of how things work before posting anything. (Couple weeks, if you aren't under immediate pressure).
3. When asking for endorsements or help on a message board, it is always a good idea to also be a contributor. Post your endorsements or start off your message with "I saw John in NYC and he was ...". Then ask your question. Just broadcasting "Someone tell me something about anything?" isn't particularly effective.
4. Remember that the companion may be a bit distant in the very beginning because he has at LEAST as many concerns as you do, like:
getting a weird/bozo client,
getting a no-show,... etc.
5. To keep things level, on your first time out go with strong community recommendations.
6. Talk w/him by phone/e-mail prior to appointment if possible. Treat him like a person, treat him like a gentleman. People do business with people, here even more so than the rest of the world.